Verbal diarrhoea

Thanks for your kind comments about my audio post. I will somehow get the proper technology and figure out how to make like, one long audio post. Of course, I could use the BFs iMac (with all its pretty bells and whistles), but then I’d have to tell him why I wanted to use it, and then he’d want to read my blog, and then he’d dump me because of all my pathetic bitching LOL.

I saw Juno yesterday. I really liked it. It was sweet, quirky, funny and sad. I thought Ellen Page was super cute and fun. Loved the Dad (if only all father’s were this cool when finding out their 16 year old daughter is pregnant LOL). It’s a film that is difficult to categories. It’s not a chick flick, it’s not a romantic comedy, it’s not a drama – though it does contain elements of those. It isn’t the best movie I have ever seen, but it had heart and warmth and Michael Cera LOL. Go see it.

I bought some new sunglasses today. (I was actually looking for new shirts for the BF – more on that later). Aviator style, very stylish. Make me look like a fly! I have such a small face (even if it is a fat one) that most sunglasses end up looking like ski goggles LOL. These aren’t too bad, and hey, can’t complain ‘cos they were like $30. Yes, I no longer buy expensive sunglasses, don’t see the point when I thrash sunglasses like you wouldn’t believe. Seriously, I go through 3-4 pairs. A. Year. No way I’m putting down $300 a pop for something I’ll only break/scratch in a few months.

I got the sunglasses for 50% off at the Kirkcaldie & Staines sale. Big sale that draws in the crowds. It’s mostly crap (though not my sunnies LOL), and I get annoyed because they bring in outside stock to sell. The stuff I have my eye on is NEVER included in the sale. It’s usually junky crappy shit you’ve never seen on the shelves. Stupid.

So, I went to Kirks looking for new business shirts for the BF. He needs them (well, maybe not need LOL) and because he’s not really much of a shopper (gasp) I thought I’d have a look for him. It was quite difficult actually, because the shirts I liked he would hate (“too gay”). I like the slim, tapered and fitted look. He doesn’t. He seems to think he’s an XL when he’s really an M. I didn’t buy anything, but I’m thinking I might drag him along to Rixon Groove and get him some tailor made shirts.

Anyone know any decent hotels in San Francisco? Looking for a clean, cheap, safe place to stay that’s not MILES away from downtown. Prefer something “boutique” but willing to look at a generic “big name” hotel if the price/location is right.

Oohh, someone else who likes lists too LOL.

There’s some good telly coming to NZ soon – new stuff like Dirty Sexy Money, Pushing Daisies, and return of faves such as Ugly Betty, Prison Break, House, Boston Legal. I’m not a fan of Lost or Grey’s Anatomy (Lost lost me after the first series and with GA I loathe the whiny thin lank haired moron Meredith, McDreamy is nothing compared to Isaiah Washington and Izzy/George/Callie thing just doesn’t work – umm, isn’t she like, supposed to be mourning Denny?).

The BF and I are thinking of re-introducing $30 Thursday. This was something fun we did for awhile last year. A date every Thursday that only costs $30. Two options for this week:

• Kayak around harbour followed by BBQ on beach
• Dinner at Satay Kampong, followed by walk around Oriental Parade

Hmm, can you guess which one is my choice? It’s something I’m keen for us to do again, otherwise it’s really easy for us to go the week without actually seeing/talking to each other.

It’s the NZI Sevens this weekend. Which basically translates to large groups of people in costumes, consuming large amounts of alcohol and watching very little rugby. I got a ticket for Friday’s games. I will NOT be wearing a costume. Remember last year’s Borat’s? Ugh.

Gratuitous David Beckham photos, because I can…



You know what I hate? Unmade beds. How lazy can people be, that they can’t make a bed after they get up. It takes, what, all of 2 minutes? Just really bothers me. It’s the first thing I do when I get up (after shoving the BF out of it LOL).

I’m surrounded by babies at the moment (thankfully not mine!). Three friends have had their baby’s in the last week (2 girls, 1 boy), another is due anyday now, another due in June. It’s a freaking epidemic (glad it’s not contagious).

First time

Trying something new here – hope it works.

Part 1 –

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Part 7 –

Part 8 –

Gosh, I repeat myself, stutter and stumble. Isn’t it lucky I never got work as a voiceover artist! LOL

Secret Shames

Yesterday we went to the beach. It was a stunning Wellington day (yes, fellow NZers, Wellington can and does have stunning summer days – it was at least 30 degrees, no wind and blue skies. Just perfect), and I thought I should make more of an effort to be nice to the moaning whinging whiner boyfriend.

I suggested we go to the beach. I’m not really a beach person – I love the ocean, the water. But, I actually hate the beach. It’s my secret shame. The BF has no idea how much I hate the beach. I hate just lying there in the sun and then having to walk across hot dry sand to cool off in the water. I hate sand. Hate it. With a passion. Ugh. Gets everywhere. Blech. I also hate the beach because I do not have a swimsuit-friendly body. Sigh. The BF of course, is a beach lover. Surfs almost everyday. Goes fishing, diving, kayaking. You name it, he does it at the beach LOL. Most of our holidays together have been at a beach/coastal area of some sort. The one beach holiday that I loved the most was when we went to Tikehau. It’s in French Polynesia and we stayed in the most amazing overwater bungalow. I loved it because I could lay there on a deck but have the water just at my fingertips. No sand! Bliss.

I think we all have secret shames. They’re quite different to guilty pleasures though. Guilty pleasures are something that I’ll admit to enjoying (watching America’s Next Top Model, eating a whole packet of Tim Tams). Secret shames not so.

I’m a Hilary Duff fan. Yes, that’s right. Hilary. Duff. I will watch any movie she’s in. I will even admit to watching Lizzie McGuire. I even saw (twice!) the Lizzie McGuire movie where she’s on a school trip to Italy and gets confused for an Italian pop star. I will also happily sing along to her songs. I will never admit that I do this to ANY of my friends or family because I’d be ridiculed. To Death.

I read certain categories on Literotica.com (and no, I’m not telling you).

I have an unlabelled, generic brand CD hidden in my CD collection that is a “mix tape” with Steps, S Club 7, Take That and other rather cheesy 90s Brit pop bands. I play this every now and again, when I’m alone and have the house to myself and need a bit of cheering up. Nothing like singing along to S Club 7!

When Rove asks some of this guests the “who would you turn gay for” question in “20 Bucks/20 Questions” segment, I have thought quite a lot about who I’d turn gay for. I’ve decided, it would be the chick that plays Shane in The L Word. She is sexy, aloof, androgenous, hot. And I think lesbian in real life. I mean, why would I turn gay for a straight woman, right? LOL

I love karaoke/sing star. I will never admit to that, but I love it. I am a microphone whore. I will hog that baby ALL night if I can. I would be happy to go out and do karaoke at a local karaoke bar here once a week, if it wasn’t frequented by such dorky losers!

I have a few more, but I think I’ll keep them to myself!

Me + Tim + Wine = Friday night at home

It’s the end of a long week and I’m lying on the couch, big glass of sauvignon blanc in my hand watching Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style on TV3 (oh, I love me some Tim).

I’ve have been trying really hard today to not let the BF get on my nerves (I admit I only yelled at him once, and rolled my eyes twice). He’s obviously feeling a lot better, because he’s gone to the pub with mates and left me alone with Tim. Yay! Gosh, I am such a bitchy girlfriend! Totally lacking any sympathy. I think I’ll cope better when I’m back at work, in my normal everyday routine.

This holiday, while long, hasn’t exactly been the relaxing, fun filled and enjoyable one I had envisioned. I feel a pout coming on! Oh save me Tim Gunn. Save me.

No patience for the patient

A couple of years ago, the boyfriend injured his knee (I moaned about playing nurse here). On Friday, he injured it again, this time he’s wrecked his ACL. It’s pretty serious, his doc thinks he may need reconstructive surgery. Unfortunately, I have very little patience at the moment and he is driving me bloody batty! Honestly, you’d think he had his fucking leg amputated, all the bitching and moaning…. the constant playing of Death Cab For Cutie and Arcade Fire is also getting tiring and repetitive.

This morning I’d reached my limit, so volunteered to get coffee and scones from our local cafe (I’m still on holiday), so I could have some time alone. I should’ve only taken 10 minutes (the cafe is a 2 minute walk away), but ended up taking nearly 2 hours because I decided to sit and drink my coffee in the sun and got sucked into reading a “ten beauty must haves” article in Vogue Australia. (I lost my make up bag in November and haven’t really managed to replace all those lovely goodies I had in there). Needless to say, Mr Droopy Draws Grumpy Bum wasn’t impressed I took that long LOL.

I guess patience is a virtue and I really should try harder to be patient with him. I know he’s frustrated about not being mobile, but still. He’s being such a freaking Drama Queen. I thought he realised that the role of Drama Queen was mine in this relationship? LOL.

I will try and be nicer to him… good thing is that I’m back to work on Tuesday so only 4 more days of this to go.

What I’ve Been Doing

Well, that’s Christmas and New Year over! So far 2008 has been fun. I’m still on holiday (don’t go back to work until late January – yippee!) and have been keeping rather busy.

During my holiday, I have:

1. Taken 6 children (aged 3 to 11) to the movies
2. Donned a wetsuit (and looked like a beached whale LOL) and went boogie boarding
3. Slipped getting out of a bath and knocked my head , resulting in a huge egg on the back of it
4. Watched the BF get another tattoo (that’s 4… he was ink-less when I met him LOL)
5. Eaten more BBQ steak in the past 3 weeks than I have during last year (my colon does not thank me for it)
6. Hogged the kids SingStar playstation game and had a blast (hel-lo, I’m a “Superstar”!)
7. Had a 5.5hr sex marathon with the BF (both of us were completely knackered the following morning LOL)
8. Developed an incredible obsessive crush on Jason Kerrison, the lead singer of OpShop, a kiwi band… that’s him in the front of this picture

9. Shared a room with 3 kids for 5 days
10. Fended off an acquaintances amorous husband at a party
11. Helped the old man and his brothers polish off a bottle of Laophraig one balmy evening
12. Gained 1.5kg
13. Got a decent tan (though it is starting to fade a bit)
14. Caught up with an old friend I hadn’t seen for over 6 years and got terribly drunk and had to call her husband and my BF to come get us (we’d gone for just “one quiet drink over lunch” to a fab winery and ended up getting absolutely rat-arsed drunk and unable to drive back into town LOL)
15. Spent nearly $150 on magazines (I am now completely up-to-date on current and next season’s fashion trends, celeb gossip and delish summer recipes)
16. Inadvertently taught my 3 year old nephew bad words (“bloody hell” and “bugger”)
17. Went sea kayaking with the BF and managed to do it without falling off once!
18. Took 4 kids rock climbing and completely sucked. The 5 year old was better than me (it’s that whole no fear thing they have). The BF was, of course, a natural and clambered up that freakishly high wall like a bloody monkey
19. Backed the BFs car into my Dad’s very flash new car (luckily, no damage to either car)
20. Laughed till I cried

Save the Best for Last

It’s usually around this time of year that lists are published; Best books of the year, Best movies, Worst haircuts, Hottest celebrity mugshot etc…

I thought I’d create my own list.

The Best Photo of the Year.

No.

Best Photo Ever.

[Source]

That’s “my” David modelling Armani undies. White briefs have never looked better! (Though I think they may have, um, stuffed those undies LOL).

Work Christmas Parties

It’s early Saturday morning and for the first time in a very long time, I am up and awake before the BF.

The reason? Last night was his work Christmas party, and judging by the state that he was in when he stumbled home around 3am, I think it must have been a good night. (He wasn’t particularly coherent when I asked him about it LOL).

In the past, I’ve been to some very wicked and debauched Christmas parties. You know the ones you hear about, with people having sex in toilets or getting drunk and having fights LOL.

When I worked in advertising, I used to go to these incredibly boozy client parties. I remember one where there was a vodka fountain and all the account boys getting ripped. Another Christmas party for a radio station ended up in a huge brawl outside the venue and the police called.

A previous employer had a mexican-themed Christmas party, with loads of of margaritas on hand. It got really nasty towards the end. Two of my co-workers were having a flirty fun time and her partner took exception to it and decked the guy (and not with boughs of holly either LOL).

Highs and Lows

Highs

Getting within about a foot of David Beckham on Sunday when I was at the airport. Totally fortuitous timing (I wasn’t stalking him LOL). I was there dropping a friend off, and just so happened that David was there too. He’s a lot smaller than I expected. Quite slight. Still 100% gorgeous. God is he beautiful. I managed to get photo proof of seeing him, however I don’t have the images on this machine (it’s on my work pc). But several of friends have seen my blurry, hurried snaps LOL.

Starting and finishing my Christmas shopping. Yep. It’s all done. Well, 99% done. Just need to get one small thing for my mother. I got everything I wanted and managed to score some great prices (thanks Briscoes for the 50% off sale). Now the fun stuff begins, wrapping!

Lows

The arguments my BF and I have been having lately. I’m annoyed and frustrated, which makes me stressed, which gives me headaches and makes me a real cranky bitch. Nice.

Losing my entire make up bag. I know it seems trivial, but I’m really bummed out about it LOL. The full make up bag that included everything from MAC foundation to eyeshadows, 8 hour cream to eyelash curlers. It’s going to take awhile (not to mention money) to replace it all.

$548

I often get hassled about my expensive tastes. But I have never spent $548 on Christmas decorations.

Yes, that’s right. $548 on decorations. For a tree. That we don’t even have yet!

I cannot believe my BF spent that much money on decorations today. Sure, some of them are really pretty, but horrendously expensive. Some of the glass baubles are over $25 each!

I must take some of the blame though, I did leave the decoration shopping to him (just told him to stick to one colour theme). So he did. He must have bought every gold decoration, light and piece of tinsel in the Kirkcaldies Christmas shop LOL.

When we finally get around to getting a tree (a real one, not a fake one) I think the decorations will look nice. They bloody better… $548!

$548… still reeling.